The Muslim Inter-Faith Marriage Myth
Introdution
I study this issue for months and I can assure you that this document will prove to those who read it that Muslim man and women are allowed to marry almost every non Muslims.
Remember that a lot of Muslims have interfaith marriage but some Muslim think that’s haram.
I will use the Holy Quran, which is the ultimate truth that no Muslim can deny or question it, to prove to you that I’m right.
Read this before starting reading the arguments
1º Argument: “Muslim are not allow to marry non Muslims according to Quran [2:221]”
Answer: The [2:221] in Holy Quran only proves that Muslims can’t marry Pagans
Let’s read it:
Do not marry idolatresses, until they believe; a believing slave girl is better than an idolatress, though you may admire her. And do not marry idolaters, until they believe. A believing slave is better than an idolater, though you may admire him. Those call unto the Fire; and God calls unto Paradise, and pardon, by His leave, and He makes clear His signs to the people; haply they will remember. [2:221]
وَلا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلأمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ أُولَئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى
النَّارِ وَاللَّهُ يَدْعُو إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَالْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ وَيُبَيِّنُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ
[2.221]
This verse tells us that male and female pagans are not good to marry Muslims (and Christians and Jews).
Some malicious Muslims use this verse to cheat people to not marry non Muslim because most people don’t know the meaning of idolatresses. Idolatresses means pagan (check the dictionary) but some people may ask: “Maybe in the Arabic Quran the word is not idolatresses.” In Arabic Quran al-musyrikât means the same… check these other 4 translations made by different Arabs, those are considered official translations:
And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful. By Shakir
Do not marry pagan women unless they believe in God. A believing slave girl is better than an idolater, even though the idolaters may attract you. Do not marry pagan men unless they believe in God. A believing slave is better than an idolater, even though the idolater may attract you. The pagans invite you to the fire, but God invites you to Paradise and forgiveness through His will. God shows His evidence to people so that they may take heed. By Sarwar
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember. By H/K/Saheeh
Do not marry pagan women until they become believers; a believing slave woman is better than a free pagan woman even though she may be more attractive to you. Likewise, do not marry pagan men until they become believers: a believing slave is better than a free pagan even though he may be more pleasing to you. These pagans invite you to the hellfire while Allah invites you towards paradise and forgiveness by His grace. He makes His revelations clear to mankind so that they may take heed. By Malik
Question: “Why the Quran tell us not to marry pagans? This sounds anti-Semitic “
Answer: God knows best, remember that polytheists never like people who believe in One God.
Example: Nero, Emperor of Rome set the city of Rome in flames, the Christians were getting to popular a big number of conversions happen but after creating such a crises and blame Christians and their God and prophet, the pagans started to killed them in the Coliseum.
”…that verse is an illustration of how the Quarish people of Mecca were discriminating against the Muslim community which had only been recently formed at that time. We can imagine that if the enmity towards Islam was so deep, how could one marry (them)” By Drs. Nuryamin
Anti-Semitic is saying that Muslims can only marry Muslims
NOTE: Is unquestionable that Muslim men are allow to marry Christians and Jewish women.
The only forbidden marriage by Quran is with pagans, so marry non pagans is allow and in the specific case – Male Muslims with Christians and Jews – there is a verse that confirms the case as legal by God.
This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is allowing unto them. You are allow to marry chaste women, believing women, with chaste women, women of the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues.[5:5]
الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ حِلٌّ لَكُمْ وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ
مُسَافِحِينَ وَلا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ وَمَنْ يَكْفُرْ بِالإيمَانِ فَقَدْ حَبِطَ عَمَلُهُ وَهُوَ فِي الآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
[5:5]
2th Argument: “Muslim men are allow to marry non-Muslims but Muslim women are not allow to do it”
Answer: The Quran doesn’t say that Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslims.
So Muslims who say that women are forbidden to marry non-Muslims always use two arguments to defend that idea. I can deny both of them without a shadow of doubt.
Argument 1 – Non Muslim men will lead their Muslim wives to Hell.
Let’s use the example of MuslimBridge.org
The reason for allowing men and not women is in order to protect the woman’s religion. If a Muslim man requested his Christian wife not to bring alcohol or pork in his house and that she not wear mini-skirts or kiss his friends, she could comply without affecting her religious teachings. However, if a Christian husband requested his Muslim wife to purchase alcohol and serve him pork, to wear miniskirts and kiss his friends since it is his custom to kiss the wives of his friends. It is natural for a wife to try to please her husband. In the case of the Muslim wife, that could lead to the destruction of her faith.
Answer: This argument is ridiculous, check the info below:
1st – Muslim women should obey and please their husbands all matters that are allow by God… that’s what the Quran says and we all know that.
Sheikh Ibrahim Al-duwaysh wrote the book Halal Magic (Al-Si7rul Halal).In it he says:
“She must obey him in all matters that are not haram (and if it does involve haram, then she should not listen to those commands)”
The IslamWeb.net says the following:
She must obey him in matters that are not disobedience to Allah. Allah says:
“…but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).” (4:34) Holy Quran
If there is any dangerous to a Muslim faith is to Muslim men who marry Non Muslim women because we all know that women have a huge influence in men… In the book Hala Magic by Sheik Ibrahim Al-duwayssh it says:
“There are ahadeeth saying that women are fitnah (e.g. the test of the bani israeel was in women).
>> The woman has that ability to be a fitnah for a man – meaning she can change his mind with certain actions of hers.
>> When they want to sell anything – they bring a women to do it – because they know the kind of sihr they have on their (men’s) hearts.”
Think about Ramadahaan for example, if the non Muslim man ask his Muslim wife to have sexual intercourse on daylight she can firmly say no but if a non Muslim wife ask her Muslim husband to have sex at daylight he will probably do it because women can seduce man very easily. It’s very difficult to a man say no to sex because of his physical constitution. Not to mention that usually is the wife who cooks so in Ramadahaan month that will be a problem to Muslim men.
If someone can be lead to hell is Muslim man and not the Muslim women who marry non Muslims.
Argument 2 – Sons of Muslim women who marry non Muslims will not be Muslims
Answer: This argument is also very used to forbid Muslim women to marry non Muslim and I will to prove to you that is ridiculous and if there is a problem with the religion of the children is when Muslim men marry non Muslim women.
Shiekh Jasem Al- Mutawa said this:
“For example, when this Muslim woman, tries to teach her kids to love and respect all prophets and believe in all of them, her non-Muslim husband will not agree, because he believes only in his prophet. He will interfere in the way she raises her kids, and prevents her from raising them in an Islamic way. And here comes the real problem, because she will have only two options, whether she leaves the whole thing as it is, and does nothing about it -which will be an insult to her religion- or she argues about the matter, and this will sure lead to more marital problems.
On the other hand, there will be no such problems between a Muslim husband, and a non Muslim wife, because if this wife tried to teach her kids to love and believe in her prophet, her Muslim husband will not refuse that because he already believes in her prophet and all prophets. This is why Islam allows the marriage between Muslim man and non-Muslim woman, and forbids the marriage between Muslim woman, and non-Muslim man. Because Islam respects the marital relationship and wants to guarantee its stability, not because it respects men, and disrespects women”
Oh really??? Shiekh Jasem said that “if this wife tried to teach her kids to love and believe in her prophet, her Muslim husband will not refuse that because he already believes in her prophet and all prophets.” If that happens the kid of that Muslim will not be Muslim because if the wife is Christian for example and only teach about her prophet, her son will be a Christian and not a Muslim.
What Sheikh Jasem and the others Muslims who point this argument don’t know is that 62% to 80% of the children from a marriage between a Muslim women and a non Muslim husband will be Muslims. And on the other hand, when is the man the Muslim and the wife the non Muslim the provability of (the kid) being Muslim is only 13% to 57%. These numbers are facts… check the info below.
Liberal Islam Network publishes an interview by Ulil Abshar-Abdalla at 19th June 2003 with Drs. Nuryamin Aini, MA who is a lecturer on Sharia on the faculty of UIN Syarif Hidayatullah who is also a researcher at the Centre of Human Resource Development (PPSDM) UIN Jakarta.
Ulil: “What are the religious tendencies among children of interfaith marriages?”
NURYAMIN: “The religious tendencies of IFM children are a very interesting subject. In Islam, it doesn’t matter if a Muslim marries a non Muslim woman. According to data I’ve got at 1980, 50% of children of Muslims who marry non Muslim woman were Muslims. But, where the mother is Muslim and father is non Muslim, the number is higher: up to 77% would be Muslim. That number increased in 1990 by up to 79%. Hence it could be said that Muslim woman’s capability to Islamize her children when she marries a non Muslim is higher than if it is the husband who is Muslim. The mother’s domination can’t be separated from her role as the primary nurturer of her children. For example, this can be seen in the following table:”
Affiliation of Children of IFM couple according to religion, Year and Sex of Parent
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* For Census-80, Hindu, Buddhist and so on unified for analyses. Census-1980 = 685 children; Census-1990 = 1044 children; Census 2000 = 83 children. Source: Census 1980, 1990 and 2000
“We have to deconstruct the myth of fikh which prohibits Muslim woman from marrying non Muslims. The data from the Central Bureau of statistics (BPS) justifies this even if it contains an error of about 2-3 %.” Drs. Nuryamin Aini (in the same interview)
Conclusion and extra info
I strongly believe that the info that I showed to you in this document was very clear and I hope you had fall in the 3st group.
The Quran doesn´t instruct Muslim and especially Muslim women not to marry non-Muslims, only the pagans, which nowadays are almost impossible to find. Remember that God is not an oppressor, He only wants us to live in peace and for example the advice to not marry pagans is or was only to protect us. You can marry a pagan if you are absolutely sure that he or she won’t interfere with your faith.
Its obvious that marry a person of our religion is much better or easier. But if the person you want marry is not of your religion but respect your beliefs… I see no problems in that marriage.
There are those you claim that women should not marry non-Muslim because the Quran forbids everything and only write exceptions like 5:5… I didn’t point this as an argument because is too much unrealistic, that means that watch TV, go to the medic or anything else that is not expressly allow by the Quran is forbidden. This reminds me the Taliban’s beliefs so let us not give them importance because after all if every thing that you can do was wrote in the Quran, the Quran would had thousands of pages.
Extra info that I didn’t put in the answer to the following argument because is not from the Quran
Argument – Non Muslim men will lead their Muslim wives to Hell.
Fatwa Center of IslamWeb.net
As for the right of a husband, a wife is obliged to obey her husband, in matters that are not disobedience to Allah, The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “If a woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, keeps her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: enter Paradise through any of its gates you wish.” [Ahmad]
_____________________________________________________________________________
I strongly recommend you to check your Quran and read the verses I wrote in this document so you can confirm that I didn’t made any change.
Orlando, 2007 Portugal
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Download this in PDF here: Muslim(a)s are allow to marry Non-Muslims
16 comments
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February 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Rayon Soleil
Hi Orlando7truth,
This article is very interesting,
“What Sheikh Jasem and the others Muslims who point this argument don’t know is that 62% to 80% of the children from a marriage between a Muslim women and a non Muslim husband will be Muslims. And on the other hand, when is the man the Muslim and the wife the non Muslim the provability of (the kid) being Muslim is only 13% to 57%. These numbers are facts… check the info below.”
I strongly agree with this, my husband is not muslim, but Alhamdulillah he allows me and even encourage me to educate my 3 children in islamic way. Frankly speaking, this thing make my marriage full up and down, because sometimes it bothers me and i worry if i made a mistake by marrying him.
Btw, i have read in Quran (i forget in which surah), it wrote that parents not allowed to marry her daughter with non muslim or kuffar. What do you think ?
Thank you.
Salam.
February 18, 2008 at 6:29 pm
orlando7truth
Hi sister.
Thank for pointing that. That verse you are talking is 2:221
“and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you.”
You can see the explanation in the begging of this entry, the translation however non of the translations uses the word daughter but what really matters is that the Quran says idolaters and not non-muslims.
Dont worry sister your marriage is legal in the eyes of God and you are another living example that inter-faith marriage of muslim women will result in islamic kids.
Salam
February 18, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Rayon Soleil
Thank you for your answer…
February 18, 2008 at 10:35 pm
orlando7truth
You are most welcome sister
October 28, 2008 at 8:59 am
fourthreichisrael
Two very good friend of mine have been married for over ten years. He is a Muslim from Egypt, she is a Canadian, who is not a Muslim.
She loves Islam and has the largest collection of books on Islam of anyone I know.
Hundreds of books, many rare and out of print.
They met while he was at university finishing his masters degree in engineering; she was working on her BA in Islamic studies and was looking for someone to teach her Arabic.
Interestingly, she is more dedicated to Islam than he is.
He does not do the required prayers or observe Ramadan.
She is a sincere seeker of truth and believes in the One God. Even calling God, Allah.
She says that if she were to have a religion it would be Islam.
Sometimes I think she has not become a Muslim because he does not show by example – the beauty of being an observant Muslim – and so she does not see the benefits.
Faith is like an infection, when someone is filled with love for Allah, the other person often catches that infection of Love and wants to become a Muslim.
It is important in marriage to be a good example of what Allah expects of us; also, to work on developing some of the virtues Allah has in so much abundance, the pen could not write all of them, there is not enough ink in the world, so, by purifying inwardly – and in our behavior, we can inspire others whose faith is weak.
Love and kindness don’t cost anything; it is not only our daily prayers and fasting that make for love of Allah and obedience to His will, it is our soft, considerate words, thoughtfulness, appreciation for others and letting them know we appreciate them, always have kind words and deeds, even when angry, for anger is best served cold. When we want a person to behave in a different manner, it is diplomacy and patience that work, not anger and disdain.
Lead by example; that way, even if people do not act in ways that are pleasing, at least we have not lost our moral compass and stayed loyal to taking the higher ground.
In marriage this is especially important.
Whether the mate is of the same faith or not, love is the true north star that we are obliged to follow, by doing so, we can often have an impact on others without any attempt at changing their behavior by manipulation; everyone hates to be manipulated and rebels, it is authentic respect, love and kindness that are felt heart to heart. Sometimes a heart that was shut down from armoring itself from too much pain or bad habits, is awakened by seeing an example of a loving heart.
October 29, 2008 at 7:20 pm
RS
@ Fourtreichisrael
Jazaik Allahu Khairan for such an inspiration example. It is so true what you said. And i conclude it with my own words, my love and my kindness will make his froozen heart melt
It was 8 months ago, something has changed a little bit better nowadays, last Eid, he prayed Eid on his own wish…it’s a good start, was it? The rest, i don’t want to force him, all i can do is praying to Allah SWT so he can be an imam for me and for my children. Our marriage was held in islamic way, fortunately, so insha Allah it’s just a matter of time now.
May Allah SWT blesses you. Amin.
Wassalam.
**merci Orlando for the space here…
Salaam**
October 29, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Orlando
Salam…
RS is your husband converting to Islam
?
Thats great… dont push him, let him go slow and slow, that way the “boat” wont sink
October 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm
RS
He was saying syahadah (convert) before we got married, but it’s me who asked him for a sake of marriage procedure. I thought he didn’t want to do it yet, that’s why i automatically considered him as non muslim.
Insha Allah, i will not push him.
Wassalam.
March 15, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Fouziya
Salaam,
This is a very interesting topic! First of all I am a Muslima that has found herself in this same “difficult” situation. This analysis gives me some comfort. However the doubt I have is mainly caused by the fact that there is no verse in the Koran that forbids it or that allows women to marry non-muslims. At the same time how can you be punished for a “Crime”, where there is no law for? And if it is really forbidden I would have been nice if Allah mentioned it, because it would have solved alot of confusion (then agian Allah knows best). And I pray every day that he will guide me concerning this interfaith relationship “PROBLEM””.
Brother Orlando have a Question though: Why don’t you thing surah 5:5 is an exception to the rule (2:221)? And why do you think this important interfaith issue concerning women isn’t mentioned in the holy quran?
I hope you can shed some light concerning this issue, thank you in advance.
Salaam
March 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Orlando
Salaam dear sister.
The confusion dont really only exist, so many simple try to use Quran to opress women.
If it was forbidden for women to marry non muslim, the Quran would say it, plus if was something for man only, the Quran would say “only man can marry…”.
Its like a country s law, in my country there is no law telling me that i can watch and no law saying that i can…. so that mean I DO CAN.
It is not a problem sister, it is a problem if your husband or future husband doesnt respect your religion or somehow influence you not to follow or go against your religion.
Surah 5:5 can not be an exception for 2:221 because 2:221 only refers to “pagans” and not non muslim in general.
So if your husband dont worship Jupiter and Mars and whatever other gods it is not a problem.
I advice to fully read my article and if still have a question let me know.
You are most welcome
Peace Salam
March 15, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Fouziya
Salaam,
Thank you very much for your advice. My mom is so against this relationship. And really believes that this is against Islam. I tell her what is stated in the Quran but it looks like she really doesnt mind what is stated in the Quran. Sometimes i wonder if I even have to continue with this relationship, because my mom is never going to accept it. And alsways reminds me that worldly things will lead me to Hell. Dear brother can you advice me on how I can go about this in an Islamic way?
March 16, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Orlando
Salam dear sister.
I understand how you fell, i know a case that the family of the girl didnt accept the marriage and both were muslims but the girl was Arab and the boy European.
The only person that needs to accept the relationship is ONLY YOU.
Of course I can help you dear sister, you should give me your e-mail or msn so my speak with you in private as this is public.
May 31, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Sophie
Hi Orlando,
I’m so glad I found your site, I have found it very clear and interesting. I’m a non-muslim woman about to marry a muslim man that I deeply love and respect. The thing is that even though I come from a christian family and I believe in God I do not consider myself a christian since I really do not believe the Bible. I have heard from a lot of people that I can not marry my future housband since I’m a “non-believer” , but I do not consider my self a non-believer since I deeply feel with all my soul the presence of God. So I’m worried when muslim people tell me that it says in the Coran , that muslims should not marry non-believers. Is it true??? what is the definition of believer in the Coran? for me, it is someone that do not believe in God at all, but for others maybe it means that you don’t believe in Muhammad or the Coran. I really wouldn’t like to make my husband any harm.
Help me please
Sophie
May 31, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Orlando
Hi there Sophie
First thank you for your words
You are a believer as it is said in the Quran:
[2.62] Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the
Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last day
and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is
no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.
I dont think you marriage will be a problem to any of you
Peace
September 30, 2009 at 7:13 pm
salma
hii…am happy to hear this news but..i recently read in an article that,when a muslim woman marry non muslim man,she is suspended from the society and regarded as prostitutes for choosing her own life partner.they have mentioned a hadith even to support this comment.from thaty day onwards am in a double mind wether to carry out this relation or not.pls,help me.
when i tld this matter to him,he sed not to wry..this misconception will be invalid if i chnge ma religion to his religion,which i am not interested.so ,cn the society accept me if i am muslim and he is non muslim?
please help me..seeking for an urgent reply…
October 1, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Orlando
Hi there sister.
You answer to God and His words(Quran) and to yourself and not to any stupid society.
My computer say you are in UAE, If you were in Saudi I would tell you to think twice but if you are in UAE I see no major problem.
I say go forward if you love him. You must not care about what others say however I know you are from a different culture than mine you may be afraid about what others say so If you are afraid you can always “cheat it”.
Simply just tell your mate to fake a conversion to Islam, we both know thats simple and that way what they can point against you???
Never give up of your dreams because of retard mentalities of others.